Lockdown One: Reflections
It seems as if the taboo behind conversations regarding mental health is no longer hidden backstage with the rest of the forgotten or disregarded discourses that busy-body lives refuse to acknowledge.
Escapism is out, introspection is in – at least at the moment.
Since lockdown has forced everyone to sit still, whether it be in their bedrooms, or tanning in the garden under the blistering heat of June sun, they are compelled to finally face the problems they’ve been ignoring, head-first. Mental health awareness has found itself centre-stage with a beaming hot spotlight full-faced and glamourised. A reflection and mixture of how posts on social media should be - both beautiful, with a hint of authenticity (so it seems).
For some, they are an audience member reposting or merely looking at those posts produced by others, of their own personal experiences; delicate developmental endeavours, and miscellaneous misfortunes that have turned into relatable stories. People have become more than just ‘instagrammable’ consumerists who lack substance or soul. For once, it appears as if people care about things that are not well-lit or overtly styled to perfection. It appears as if people want the hard, ugly truths of how dark lockdown has affected everyone’s mental health.
It cannot be ignored that the increase in retrospection that has surfaced has an interesting and arguable, correlation with the infographics produced on social media. Not only has online activism in social, cultural, and global areas risen from slides of colourful information boxes (which is observable throughout June 2020 with regards to the Black Lives Matter movement – that influenced hundreds and thousands of people to repost black squares in awareness of the inequalities and discrimination black people face in America and worldwide) – much of the personal spheres of mental and emotional changes towards the ‘self’ has also been brought to light. The social injustices reflect much of the personal anger, anxiety and repression much of what minorities feel everyday, but in a much larger scale.
The posts about taking care of oneself and personal mental wellbeing have been a hot topic within my own newsfeed since lockdown started last March. It’s hard to ignore. Maybe rightfully so. For the longest time, growing up within friendship groups that overlooked comments around suicide and eating disorders as jokes; and valued self-improvement and over-productivity highly, it’s no wonder that when it is forced to be faced seriously, people halter or look away. Except with everyone’s faces glued to their social media apps, there is no ‘looking away’. That is simply in opposition to what these social media networks are made for.
Although most people log in frequently into these sites without concerns of reproducing characteristics of behavioural addiction, some descent towards the gaping hole and find it difficult to claw themselves out. The dopamine-inducing environment that these platforms reproduce for individuals is a high contributor as to why. Many research studies produced have found that the freedom of self-disclosure that the internet allows for people ignites parts of the brain that receives a “reward” responsiveness; as the chemical messenger pathways that are affected are that of decision and sensation.
Personally, it is clear why the increase in mental health awareness has come about during an unprecedented time like this. Isolation and loneliness are something that can be elevated by social environments. The one we have on the tip of our fingers.
For years, since the growth of technology, we have been warned about the dangers of the internet. This is not a testament against those lurking shadows – however, a critical opinion on existentialism. This philosophical theory that focuses on the individual as having free-will and control of their environment has been tested again and again. We are creatures who need meaning but we are abandoned in a universe full of meaninglessness. So we cry into the wilderness and get no response, but we keep crying anyway.
Just as influencers on your timeline or the bombardment of capitalistic lifestyles cannot be blamed for your own inability to chose and continue to go back-and-forth towards the dessert menu, they are also not detached from these floating thoughts in your head. This is something that I have come to discover more deeply during these times spent alone, in-between parts of the days that I enjoy being reminded of the insignificance of my being. That much of your choices you make and meanings you have for your life are chosen by you… Ultimately, there are things that affect the perception of who you should be, can be and want to be - which is why mental health awareness has been important to discuss; as much of it (and us) are subjected to how we should be online.
I’m not sure if it has gotten harder or easier during lockdown to accept the fact that much of our human nature is ascribed to us; ultimately being products of our environments; and the motivations in our days to become a better version of ourselves are beyond our control, or not authentically who we actually want to be? Yet, being isolated in your bedroom constantly trying to reconfigure what is to be you, without the extra worries and illusions of day-to-day externalities is daunting, and yet, rewarding. At least that’s what I found. But I also found myself going back and forth to this a lot. Then I take a deep breath.
Being insignificant and alone has its benefits.
Just like the simplicity of information being fed to us through Instagram infographics or TikTok videos, or 280-character tweets, the uncomplication of life, the stripping away of societal structures, even if it is for a brief moment, is necessary. It is as if understanding and learning are coherently working together. Nothing feels forced. You either comprehend what is in front of you or you don’t. If you want to figure it out, then do.
The literal meaning of life is whatever you’re doing that prevents you from killing yourself.
Of course, much of this is just verbal and mental spew of how I coped with dealing with the lockdown. However, it has changed me, and a lot of people I know and others worldwide, and with that, how they have dealt with their own mental health through maintaining their previous mindsets or changing it completely, to find meaning in their lives throughout a time of uncertainty.
